He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
