i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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