My brain says no but my pants say off.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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