is your mom at the bar?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
