isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
