Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
