I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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