It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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