I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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