Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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