the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
