You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
