Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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