I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
