wake up i wanna do it froggy style
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
