Old men and throwing up are my life now.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i out mim tonsoeep
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