I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
