He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
