Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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