every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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