Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
