We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
