butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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