Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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