When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
