I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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