Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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