do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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