Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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