When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
