Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
