Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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