I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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