i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
