I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
