so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
