He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
