Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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