you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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