Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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