he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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