My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
