I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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