8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
