I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
