no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
