i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
