Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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