escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
