I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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