Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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