He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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