we're blogging at a bar
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
