I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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