dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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