Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
